The Importance of Seeking Help: Mr. Osorio's Story

Claire Jung;

Today I'm here with Mr. Osorio. Hi Mr. Osorio, how are you?

Mr. Osorio:

I'm fine, thank you for asking.

Claire Jung:

Great! Let’s jump right into the questions. The first question is: Can you share about your childhood and what it was like growing up in New York City?

Mr. Osorio:

Oh wow, that’s a big question. It was rough growing up in New York City. My mom and dad were there for a while, and then my mom became a single parent when I was about six. That’s when things changed. She was very overprotective; I didn't go outside much, and my friends didn't let me have too much of a childhood. When my dad left, I think that’s when I really grew up. I started rebelling and getting into trouble.

Claire Jung:

I see.

Mr. Osorio:

Everything I learned, I learned the hard way. It wasn’t from my mom; I learned it on the streets. I couldn't trust anyone, and I fell in love before I even knew what love was. I thought I had friends, but they weren’t really my friends. I wanted to grow up too quickly and started smoking.

Claire Jung:

I understand.

Mr. Osorio:

I learned about life and growing up the hard way. There were fights and jealousy, and I stopped going to school, which only made things worse. I ended up going to jail a few times because of all that negativity. My mom tried to be there for me, and I finally learned my lesson after a few stints in jail.

I realized I had missed out on a lot because of her overprotectiveness. I couldn’t ditch school or be late, and her strict discipline shaped my understanding as I got older. I started to appreciate that she was trying to protect me from going through the things I experienced.

Eventually, I went back to school after getting tired of the trouble. I missed prom, my girlfriend, and just hanging out with friends. I realized I was on the wrong path. I went back to school, learned a trade, and got into construction.The teacher was a former construction worker who gave me some contacts, and I reached out to them when I got out. I enrolled in a trade school, and before I knew it, I landed a high-paying job. The life I had lived was behind me. I got married, had kids, and it’s been good ever since.

Claire Jung:

That’s great to hear! Can you share what led to your situation of becoming homeless?

Mr. Osorio:

A lot of that came from thinking I had everything behind me after getting married and having kids. But there was still trauma from my past. I had seen and done too much, and life was moving very fast. My mom disciplined me heavily, which some might call abusive today, but back then it was just how things were done. Calling the cops wasn’t an option.

I remember accompanying my mom to mental hospitals when I was a kid, not understanding that she was seeking help for herself. She had her own issues, and some of that discipline got passed on to me. I ended up spanking my kids, but I tried to do it less than how I was treated. Unfortunately, that led to trouble. One time, I slapped my child hard enough to draw blood, and I was charged with child abuse. Even though I wasn’t a gang member anymore, going back to jail felt terrible. I was thrown back into an environment filled with chaos, which only fed the trauma I had already experienced.

I didn’t seek help, and I would get really emotional—angry and sad. I found myself getting into trouble again, despite wanting to avoid it. I learned that I was attracted to toxic people, and I often found myself around others with similar struggles.

I realized I needed to break free from that cycle, but it took time. I understood that if I didn’t have supportive parents growing up, it would be hard to navigate life positively. My mom wasn’t loving and caring in a conventional way, and that shaped who I became. Because, of course, she didn't get that same love from her mom. So she grew up, I guess, pretty hard.Pretty, pretty hard. So a lot of trauma, a lot of trauma, a lot of mental health challenges that kept me from succeeding in life.

Yeah, the mental health issues kept me from reaching out, enrolling in school, or starting a new life like some people do, you know? Or getting new friends, healthier friends, and healthy relationships.

When I got married, my wife wasn't an angel either. She had a similar background; her mom neglected her when she was young. They were born in Mexico. She was passed on to her sister while her mom came over to America to send money home. At home, there was abuse, and by the time she came over here, she hung out with the same type of people. Right, she attracted herself to others like us. When I met her, we supposedly wanted to get rid of all that, but instead, we brought that toxic behavior into our relationship.

Claire Jung:

That must have been a difficult situation.

Mr. Osorio:

So we had a lot of fights, a lot of arguments, a lot of disagreements. She was ten years older than me, and that didn’t do me any good. Age doesn’t matter, I guess, when you love each other, but I guess it wasn’t love between us. It was love for me because I lacked it.

That’s what I was looking for, and I continued to look for it in the wrong places. I took anything as love because I had been mistreated so much. I took anything from friends as love—my friends would say they liked me, and that was it. My homeboys, I thought they loved me, so whenever they got in trouble, I got in trouble too. If you didn’t like them, you didn’t like me either, you know?

And I did things like that. She did things like that. There was so much toxic behavior in the house that there was domestic violence. It was just me being loud. I didn’t hit my wife or anything like that, but I do remember one time—I was so mad at her that I threw a plant pot.

I didn’t throw it at her; I just wanted to break something out of anger. A piece landed near her face. It wasn’t much, but it marked the beginning of domestic violence that I went to jail for. She would say I hit her, and I did this and that, and it wasn’t true. Then she would come visit me in jail, tell me she loved me, and say she was sorry.

Then we would get back together, and this went on for a few years. Until I realized I was in an abusive relationship while she was telling the police officers that I was hitting her. She knew how to play the system. Yeah, she knew that all she had to do was tell the police officer that I was violent, and they would take me to jail. Because of my past record, I already looked like the bad guy.

Claire Jung:

It must have been hard.

Mr. Osorio:

So, things like that led me to where I am today. I had to leave everything I loved because I knew that wasn’t love. I saw a TikTok reel the other day that said, “If it doesn’t hurt you, then it’s hurting me.” So I listened to that, and I started consuming a lot of content focused on healing. I listen to a lot of self-healing, spiritual stuff, and I do a lot of meditating. Compared to what I used to do, I meditate a lot more because there are a lot of mental health and emotional issues that I want to face, understand, and heal.

I also had a drug problem. I went to rehab, and that’s where all of this started. Now I’m healing mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I’ve learned how to help others with that. I avoid people with serious mental health issues now.

Claire Jung:

I am glad to hear that.

Mr. Osorio:

It’s not that I avoid them completely; their problems are not my problems anymore. If you’re a troublemaker or you have an anger problem, I’ll be your friend until I realize that I can’t be your friend anymore. I already have a lot of experience in recognizing good people from bad people. If you need help and want to change, I can see that. If you don’t want to change, then I know it’s time for me to go.

I haven’t gotten into any more relationships, and I don’t have many friends. If I do have friends, they’re from work or church. I’ve tried church too, and I do a little bit of that online.Because of my trauma, I’m talking to a psychiatrist who has mentioned that I have bipolar disorder and PTSD.

Claire Jung:

Hmm.

Mr. Osorio:

Those things I was already familiar with; I was proactive about it. I was looking it up on my own because it was hard to reach out and ask for help again. But because of rehab, I remember it was hard for me to share. Everyone used to have a turn to share their experiences, so my counselor recommended that I try it. Once I started sharing, I had a lot to say. So I began my healing.

Claire Jung:

What motivated you to stop using substances?

Mr. Osorio:

When I was married, I had a car. I could take the kids to school on time, and celebrate birthdays on time. We had a normal life; we went out to eat. We had a good life.

Claire Jung:

Yeah.

Mr. Osorio:

When I lost all that, that’s what I wanted to get back.

Claire Jung:

Of Course.

Mr. Osorio:

I wanted to get back to normal. I had a bank account, I dressed well. We went to the movies, to dinner, to car shows. I mean, we went to Knotts Berry Farm, we celebrated Christmas and Thanksgiving. Those days were special. Yeah, I wanted it back. I lost all that, and I wanted it back. That was the person I had lost, and that’s what I wanted to reclaim. I lived a good life.

Claire Jung:

When you are experiencing homelessness, what would a typical day look like?

Mr. Osorio:

The memories never go away. Every day, I wake up thinking about my kids. I also remember the difficult times. When I first left my home, I was in a good place—not the typical homelessness you might imagine. I lived in a tent but made it comfortable. I had a fan, a stove, an air fryer. I washed my dishes, had clothes, and worked in construction—painting, flooring, all sorts of jobs. I was fortunate to still have skills to rely on.

I bought a bed and found a place to sleep, distancing myself from the chaos around me. I realized I couldn't have friends; I needed to focus on myself.

Claire Jung:

How did you overcome homelessness?

Mr. Osorio:  

In a way, I kind of liked it. It was peaceful, away from the toxic environment I was in. I didn't see homelessness as a bad thing; it was a means of saving myself—saving myself from jail. I left because I feared my wife would make up stories against me.

Living in that situation allowed me to work on myself spiritually. I walked, exercised, read a lot, and consumed a wealth of healing material available online. At 57, I still believe in the importance of never stopping learning.

In the beginning, it was tough. People would look down on me, which made me angry. I would confront them sometimes, but as I worked on myself, I learned to ignore the negativity. I realized that many people didn’t understand my story.

Claire Jung:

Did you ever seek help from government services or shelters? What was your experience?

Mr. Osorio:

Yes, I sought help. While in jail, I realized I needed rehab. I wrote several letters to recovery programs and was fortunate to get a visit from one. They interviewed me and accepted me into a nine-month program. Living in that facility with other addicts was transformative.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Many of us wanted to stop using it but found it difficult. Addiction is different from casual drinking; it becomes a necessity. If you don’t have it, you don’t feel good, which can lead to risky behavior. Being in rehab, I was surrounded by people who were sick of being sick and wanted to change. That sense of community was crucial.

Claire Jung: Yeah, that is important.

Mr. Osorio:

Just like me. They reached out and reached out. So that was encouraging. It was Narcotics Anonymous.

Claire Jung:Yeah.

Mr. Osorio:

I don't know if you've ever heard of it. It's a support program, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. They help people get clean. They have a book, journaling, meetings—it's like going back to school. They had

me writing essays on various issues.

Claire Jung:

What kind of topics did you write about?

Mr. Osorio:

I had to write an essay on triggers. I wasn't even familiar with the term at first. Triggers are things that make you feel angry or lead you to use them. I had to ask others about their experiences with obsessive and compulsive behaviors. I’d ask how they acted during those times, and through their stories, I started to understand my own behavior.

Claire Jung:

That sounds enlightening.

Mr. Osorio:

Yeah, it was about understanding addiction and myself. Writing essays on guilt and shame was especially impactful. I had a lot of guilt, especially because the money I had for necessities often went toward drugs instead.

Claire Jung:

That must have been difficult.

Mr. Osorio:

It was. When you get sober, all that guilt comes to the surface. I felt ashamed for actions I took under the influence—things I wouldn’t have done otherwise. Drugs numb those feelings, making it easier to avoid facing reality.

Claire Jung:

What advice would you give to someone struggling with similar issues?

Mr. Osorio:

You have to look for help and do some research. There are resources out there. You can go to places like the police department or schools, where they can guide you. Social media and hotlines are also available now, which weren’t there when I started. Just reaching out can make a difference.

Claire Jung:

What do you wish the public understood about homelessness and the people who experience it?

Mr. Osorio:

From my perspective, many people might seem like they don't want to change, but there are often deeper issues at play. Some people have faced neglect or difficult circumstances. I’ve met people in rehab who came from good families but fell into the wrong crowd. Once you have a record, it limits your opportunities, which can lead to a cycle of hopelessness.

Claire Jung:

That makes sense.

Mr. Osorio:

There’s also a lack of resources. While help exists, it’s not always well-advertised. It's crucial to keep funding programs that assist those in need, because there are people out there who genuinely want to change.

Claire Jung:

Absolutely.

Mr. Osorio:

We need to support those programs and not give up on people. If we don’t, we risk a rise in crime and other societal issues. Mental health is a serious problem, and many people struggle silently. I was a functioning addict—no one knew the extent of my struggles.

Claire Jung:

Thank you for sharing that.

Mr. Osorio:

No problem. I hope it helps. Good luck with your work!

Claire Jung:

Thank you!

Mr. Osorio:

Have a great weekend!

Claire Jung:

You too!